Juries the last line of defense
In today's super secure, safe, right-free america, there is one institution that is there to protect the individual from the state. An that institution is the JURY. When the state makes up rules (to protect us -- "hey thanks, state!" -- the Constitution guarantees that a jury will be the one to apply the law to the facts, with not the state, so ....
When a girl is discovered nude and drunk, sleeping in a sleeping bag, in the back seat of a suburban, legally parked with the keys in the bottom of a sleeping bag ... and
the state asks you to find her guilty of DUI because the law says she was in "actual physical control" of that vehicle while drunk
As a favor to me, and to show your love for America the Constituion and what is right ...
Just say no!
Tell the state that I would rather encourage people to sleep it off rather than trying to make it home.